This story really bothers me. I have debated if I want to blog about it knowing that my own biases and theories would seep in. But after some time, I thought "isn't that was blogging is all about, having my thoughts seep out?"
On Friday, January 28 2011, "according to authorities, Julie Schenecker [50 years old] confessed to killing her children for repeatedly talking back to her and being 'mouthy.' " Her children, [son, Beau, 13 and daughter, Calyx, 16] were shot as they both carried on with their daily routines on Thursday, January 27, 2011. The details of their crime are horrendous, something I don't want to cover here, but the mother's motivation seems like a common occurrence.
How many parents/caregivers complain about mouthy kids? How many times have you witnessed a public display of a teen talking back to an adult? How many times have you yourself thought "that kid is really pushing my buttons?" Adolescents are known to talk back, have strong opinions, test their boundaries, and question authority. It is all part of being an adolescent who is on the journey to adulthood.
During adolescent brain development, the youth develops their thinking. Five thinking areas have been identified: (1) reasoning / problem solving; (2) decision making / hypothetical situations; (3) processing information / efficiency. (4) expertise / use of experience; and (5) moral reasoning / social cognition. All of these areas move the adolescent from concrete thinking, as during young childhood, to more complex, analytical thinking. These areas need development so the adolescent becomes a thoughtful adult who is able to think beyond himself/herself and become a successful part of a community.
When I give a presentation I tell the audience a few things to keep in mind. First, being able to reason and problem solve (not math) is all about the adolescent's ability to come up with options, logical planning, and finding the reason to do things. Adults helping to build this sort of thinking need to guide the youth through a problem, not solve the problem for them.
Second, helping a youth with decision making skills is all about imagining hypothetical situations. It is the basis of the "pro and con list" that is very often suggested. Adolescents need to figure out what would happen if X happened versus what would happen if Y happened. Adults need to remember to ask the question, "What do you think would have happened if X?" but then SHUT UP and let the kid answer it. If you aren't getting an answer, then guided discussion is better than supplying the answer for them.
Third, their brains can only process certain level of information at one time. This is clearly seen in the blank faces of adolescents when asked a question and there is no quick response. Their brains are working on a response but can only do it so fast with the level of efficiency in their brains. Give them time to process and respond and don't assume they are being difficult when they don't answer the question right away.
Fourth, their ages determine how many experiences they have. A 12 year old only as 12 years of experience and you must remember that when assigning responsibilities. Be realistic for the amount of and kind of experiences that make them "experts" in different areas.
Finally, social cognition involves not only moral reasoning but impression formation (i.e. meeting new people), perspective taking (putting yourself in somebody's else shoes), and social conventions (laws, rules, guidelines, etc.). The toughest for adults to probably deal with is the understanding of social conventions. Why are things a certain way? Teenagers may say: "Why do I have to be home at 11pm when my friends can stay out to midnight?", "Why do I have to go to church when I don't believe in God anymore?", "I think my bedroom is clean enough." The problem is that adults think questioning of social conventions as being more argumentative and a direct question of their authority. What I like to tell the audience is that the adolescent is not becoming more argumentative just better at it.
Thinking development is a wonderful characteristic of adolescent brain development.. My use of the term "wonderful" may be a stretch for some of you in the heat of a stressful discussion with an adolescent, but having a kid talk back to me at least signifies that they were listening in the first place.
No comments:
Post a Comment